sorry, I missed the "wink" ...was viewing on my mobile...didn't know you were kidding.
I was wondering, if you might be having trouble adhering the plastic to the wood?
I have had that trouble too. For bigger surfaces, Like your fullsize stuff we had used industrial grade contact cement.
This stuff gets mixed with lacquer thinner or acetone (depending on the maker) and sprayed through a paint gun.
I learned to work with it in High-School as I worked at a place that made Camper, Trailers and RVs
This it what was used to put on the Fiber-Glass, metal or Plastic siding onto the frame of the RVs.
It is a bit of a pain to go to all the trouble of mixing and spraying. (it looks like silly string when sprayed on)
I was going to look into the type of contact cement we used for laminate countertops. That can be brushed or rolled on (or sprayed)
I've also been using barge cement on a leather work project. I was going to try it too. This is the toxic version (red can) which is what your cobbler uses to glue the soles of your shoes together. A big advantage is that it remains flexible.
It can be thinned though ...I do not know (yet) if the solvent will attack the styrene.
The Toxic version of Barge cement (Red can) works better than the newer, less toxic (Blue tube/can)
Fair Notice: the Toxic stuff is known to cause cancer in the state of California, fortunately you are based in Texas!